What the hell?

Sucka

Not so happy right now. The last two work days have sucked.

I'm happy to be home, showered, and laying in my pajamas. Annoyed at myself for breaking a week of nail-biting. I didn't even realize I was doing it, bam. Too late. Think of the Nailtique down the drain;)

I need to dry my hair and go to sleep. Can't as I'm on the phone listening to the Mom.

Winter sucks.
Being pudgy sucks.
Being in a crappy mood sucks.
Sucks.
Sucks.
Sucks.

When Trisha called me today at work I sounded so indifferent. But she asked me a very direct question (any news about a job?), and I couldn't say a peep with the neighboring cubicle folks. Plus, guess what, I was in a foul mood. Oy. Michele was nice enough to forward the apartment info my way - but without any inkling if new income is on the horizon, i'm not sure if moving is such a good idea. Yes, I hate my existing situation. And yes, moving into the city in the west village would be amazing. And so would the rent, and the girls sound nice. But what the hell do I do when/if I go back on the dole? Er, at present, rent is not so high, and the dole would cover it. The move would cost me money (as I would have to hire movers). Since I've only been working 3-4 days the last few weeks (holidays, flu, etc.), my paltry paychecks have fallen even further. I'm hesistant to even call the girls if I'm not in a position to make a decision. Duh, irene. Of course you can't do anything. I'm torn with indecision and stupidity with one too many things these days. I really shouldn't go out, when I have nothing to show for myself. But then again, hanging around solo isn't good either.

Dude. I need a happy pill. And something new. Like change. Stability. Isn't that ironic? I, yet again, don't know what i want/need.

Bleh.

posted by irene @ 1/07/2004 10:39:00 PM