What the hell?

Orange

Not mine, not mine. But SO funny....

Like most Americans, I am frustrated and confused by the color coding terror alert system that our elected officials have devised as a warning to us poor slobs, the general public.

Okay, we've been upgraded to Orange. What am I supposed to do with that?

I mean, is it persimmon, or rust? Pumpkin or brick? How am I supposed to coordinate accessories this way?

If only Isaac Mizrahi were president. Then we'd wake up to press conferences like this:

"Good morning. The alert has been upgraded from chamois to melon. Be aware, be vigilant, go about your business as usual, and wear soft earthtones."

Then I'd be able to cope.

I would like to propose a color coding system that is much more specific, helpful and stylish. It would go something like this:

• Cinnamon - very low risk of attack. Wear your best suedes and silks with abandon.
  
• Indigo - slightly elevated risk. Stick with neutrals. Microfiber is a good thing.
  
• Pesto - more iffy. Break out the camouflage. Natural fibers only.
  
• Mean Reds - don't even think about it. Stay in, order take out, run the video of Breakfast At Tiffany's.
  

Just a modest proposal.

Be well, be alert, be well dressed.
(Thanks Trisha! That was a hoot.)

And I thought the M&M analogy was a riot.

posted by irene @ 2/13/2003 05:37:00 PM