What the hell?

Something funny that crossed my desk today:

How to move across the country and be unemployed for 6 months.

- Ride a bike everywhere.
- Never eat in restaurants. Not even Denny's. (Does Denny's even count? Or is that lumped in with Red Lobster and co.?)
- Don't go to the Movies.
- Don't buy new CDs.
- Eat only generic grocery store brand food.
- Avoid products like chips, cookies, ketchup and ice cream.(Can ketchup really cost that much?)
- Stick to the basics, bread, meat, dairy and vegetables.
- coupons, coupons coupons...
- Drink only store bought PBR or Miller Lite beer. PBR is $5 a 12pac at sav-on, OR invest in one good hard liquor.
- If you do go out to drink, stick to $2 beers at dive bars only.
- Have someone live in your living room, reducing the cost of overall rent.
- If it's yellow let it mellow, if it's brown flush it down. (A guy has to have to be the author.)
- Never buy new clothes. (NO way. Not possible. I'm plotting a breakaway to go shopping early this week. No can do.)
- Give back to the community, sell your plasma and semen. You don't need it anyway. (True...but...)
- Make a habit of having "No Money Fun", some examples are: Going to the beach, the park, watching planes land, reading, walking, playing cards or updating your website.
- Eat Soup, lots of it.
- Only do your laundry when have you have worn every item of clothing 5+ times.
- Have emergency money in a savings account.
- Rub one out. It'll make you take a nap. And who doesn't need a nap when you've got nowhere to be anytime soon?
- Peanut butter spreads further than you think.
- Lamps are for kids... candles.
- Showering is for kids....handy wipes.
- Play the "gimmie a dollar" game often.
- One cup, one bowl, one plate, one fork, one knife, one spoon.

Har. Found that entirely amusing.