What the hell?

Count down please
The car service is picking me up in approximately two hours. Yes folks. Even though it's 12.51 a.m., I am departing the 'burbs at an ungodly hour to hike it out to JFK. My flight leaves at 7:05. When I picked my fancy schmancy direct flight, I was a tad overeager. So be it. Wheee!

I have two bags (not one as I promised my brother) to check, my laptop bag, and a slightly larger carryon. I do not travel light. I will never travel light. But I'm not traveling. I'm, um, something else. Traveling implies (at least to me) a temporary situation. Gah. Am I really moving in a few hours?

On to other things.

It's not ok to discuss 'private' things here. And I can understand that. But if I'm at the butt of the joke, where's the harm?

And with that, I share the following: I have a cold. It started yesterday. I sneeze alot. Loudly. Dainty is not a word to be associated with my cacophonic cough/barks. Harsh sounding does not even begin to describe the level of sneezing I've reached. My body jerks with temporary spastic paralysis. I swear my hearing is swallowed in a tunnel during each episode. Oh, and there are multiple sneezes in a row.

Ignoring the trash can my mother unceremoniously presented for my tissues, I'm doing better than expected. Not sure where the cold came from, but it came just in time for my flight. Anyhoo. TOnight I was packing. And admittedly was a bit distracted as I walked around the house. Combining over the counter meds, lifting, and climbing of stairs is not a good thing. I'm in a fog.

So after dinner, I sucked down 1/2 a pitcher of banana-orange smoothy my mom made for me. YUM. And then I kept drinking water. Lots of water. (Must think about tomorrow's plane air, you know?) So after bringing down a crateful of magazines for recycling, I had yet another sneezing bout. Picture a pooch sneezing. No hands to help me as I'm carrying a hefty load. So as I'm involuntarily jerking about, my muscles contradict each other. The bladder decides, yes, that it's time. And so I pee'd a dime's worth. In my panties.

I should see if the spokesperson spot is open at Depends.

Ahem.

Now you know. But I thought it was really funny. My mom was not so impressed. This as she repeatedly informed me bladder control was never an issue for her "during your incubation period." (My mom caught the chicken pox when i was a bun in the oven, and spent the summer locked inside with the A/C.) I find my mom really funny when she refers to pregnancy as an incubation period. What am I? A science experiment? (Don't answer that.)

Sidenote: Brother, am I remembering that you have Cox Digital Cable at home? Does this mean I can set up a cable modem for moi? Will you look at this and see if it's possible? (I have a modem, ahem, already.) And $24.99/mo is a sweet deal.

Er, whatelse was I going to say?

YAY! The computer came back to life. (The one in need of CPR). Granted it required committed attention over a weekend day for the owner, but thankfully everything is back in order. Whew!

My mother convinced me to keep the shoes. She liked them. And we were in no mood to navigate mall traffic. My mom rocks. She spent the better part of yesterday and today hemming clothes for me. My freakish size requires special handling. So now I have TWO (count 'em) sleeveless dresses, a leather coat with sleeves that don't hang down to my knees, and a top that doesn't fold in the middle of my back. Yay!

So I'm trying not to think about the emails sitting in my inbox that require my attention. They will wait until either tomorrow or Wednesday. It all depends on what kind of access I have. And if the kleenex box hasn't eaten me.

gack. cough. hack. (sneezing held at bay)

Flight 205 - Jet Blue.

posted by irene @ 9/17/2002 01:32:00 AM